It’s Back to School Night and I’m tired. My sleeping pattern and I have not been in much agreement over the last few weeks, especially on Monday nights in anticipation of long Tuesdays. In fact my sleeping pattern assumes an entirely different personality on Monday nights.
I’m like: “Who are you and what did you do with the pattern that’s here with me every other night?” His reply: “Yeah, um, that pattern is with LaChan and you’re hanging out with me tonight. Now go’head and turn on the west coast edition of Sportscenter.” It only makes sense that Nile’s Back to School Night was on a Tuesday night. My body language was screaming, apparently. I’m the kind of person who unintentionally communicates boredom - even annoyance - if I’m not totally engaged with you. The sad thing is that’s NOT what I want to communicate. I’ve worked on it for years, but on Tuesday night LaChan had to (firmly) whisper to me during one teacher’s presentation, “Mike, you look annoyed.” Oh, snap! This teacher probably thinks I don’t like what s/he is saying. Let me get myself together! As we listen to the teachers’ presentations I notice a pattern: Nile has two teachers in most of her classes: a regular education teacher and an inclusion teacher. Inclusion teachers are usually certified Special Education teachers who provide additional/supplementary support to students with special needs. Inclusion and regular education teachers co-teach classes. Students – with special needs or not – get the benefit of more individual instruction and attention with two teachers in the classroom. HOLD UP, THOUGH… I don’t remember the last time Nile was in an inclusion classroom. Avery, on the other hand, has been in inclusion classes for his entire time in school. He’s a student with an Individualized Education Plan (IEP). This is where my (ignorant, shameful) bias surfaces, because at some point during the night I began to think: Well, that’s appropriate for him because he has a form of autism. I don’t want that for her because the special needs kids might…. I’ve heard that speech before. It's come from some parents of typically developing students who voice concern over their kids being in classes with special needs students. As a counselor and educator, my IMMEDIATE response to that sentiment is usually something like: I understand your concern. The good thing is that there’s a fair amount of research that tells us typically developing students can benefit from being in classes with special needs students. The experience has the potential to help the more academically advanced students develop emotional maturity, develop an ability to show empathy, and be more likely to advocate for their peers when they perceive something unjust. And it DOES NOT reduce the rigor of the educational experience because teachers can differentiate their instruction to meet their students’ individual needs. Why didn’t I remember this for myself and my own daughter? Why did it take so long for MY OWN “script” to emerge and for me to REALLY APPLY it in my own daughter’s school experience? Do I really believe the script? I think I do, but I also realized that my own negative assumptions can be at work – and I don’t even know it. The evening reminded me about my need to trust the process. What does that mean, you ask? For me it means trusting that Nile is going to benefit from a comprehensive, rigorous educational experience that includes engaging with students more, less, and differently talented than her in her classes. It means making sure I’m accountable to ask questions of and respond to questions by her teachers. It means extending a professional courtesy to all of the educators, students, and families that comprise our learning community by expecting the best in them – and not anything else. I’m excited and I hope you are excited for your children this year. To all of the parents and caregivers whose kids have started school, I pray for an awesome and enriching year! Let’s agree to push our kids – and ourselves – to learn, grow, and change for the better this school year. Peace, -mike
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AuthorI'm Mike. If you have an interest in mental health, family functioning, and disability advocacy, this blog may be of interest to you. Archives
January 2016
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