Blog 1
This is the beginning of a public diary entry, or blog, about fathering. My name is Mike Hannon. I’m a counselor by profession and a father by biological and societal standards. I have a wonderful partner and wife, LaChan, who I’ve known since 1992 and married in 2000. We have 2 great kids: Nile (daughter) who is a 10 year old 5th grader and Avery (son) who is an 8 year old 3rd grader. I’ve been toiling over the idea of blogging because I realize it’s something I need to try. My ideas, I believe, are worth sharing. Notions of fatherhood and family REALLY resonate with me because they are a huge part of my identity. I consider my position as a family member and father in most everything I do. It has become even more salient as a doctoral student in counseling. My dissertation (Lord willing, to be completed no later than June 2013), is on how men make meaning of being the fathers of children with autism. My son, Avery, has a form of autism and that diagnosis has literally changed the trajectory of our family’s life, as it does with so many other families living with and caring for kids with disabilities. So, now that you’ve got a little bit of context, I wanted to share my most recent hurdle…I can’t think of a better word to describe how I’m feeling about it. My son is considered “high functioning” (which means something very unique to a bunch of people). But, for us, that essentially means that he’s in a regular education program, is verbal, expressive, has developed the capacity to initiate and engage in meaningful peer friendships, and exhibits behavior that is generally considered, socially appropriate. The easier way to say that is: he doesn’t stand out like other kids with autism who are more severely affected by the diagnosis. I’ve been reading (for pleasure and professional development) Uncommon fathers: Reflections on raising a child with a disability by Donald Meyer. It’s a great read for me as a counselor, but more importantly it’s helping me to connect with other dads with similar experiences. So…Avery saw the book as we were getting ready for karate this evening and asked me: “Daddy are you an uncommon father?” You see my wife, daughter, and I have not told Avery he has autism, but I’ve been toiling over how I will do that. I’ve heard and seen horror stories of kids having a diagnosis for years and their finding out through their school counselor, school psychologist, or private therapist. Frankly, I don’t wanna be that dude. I owe it to my kid to inform him of his strengths and support him in all areas in which he may struggle. How do I tell him? What do I say about this diagnosis and what it means for him versus another kid who has autism? I’ve been attempting to be prayerful about it and don’t believe I received any clarity about how it should be done. What I do know is that members of this particular community have reconstructed autism into a really creative acronym: Always Unique Totally Interesting Sometimes Mysterious. I want to be able to do that for Avery and for those who may not appreciate his awesome peculiarities and ultimately desire to meet my responsibility of fidelity to him. I’m open to feedback or suggestions should you have any…
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AuthorI'm Mike. If you have an interest in mental health, family functioning, and disability advocacy, this blog may be of interest to you. Archives
January 2016
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